Guest entry….

I know, it’s been forever. Anyhow, a friend of mine, who I just happened to have known for almost 13 years decided to sit down and let God get some things straight in his heart. What produced was beautiful. Here it is….

Dear 18 year old me,
Aaron. Oh, Aaron. If I didn’t know your future, I would take this time to scream warnings at the top of my lungs, plead with you to listen to the voices of reason surrounding, and beg you to turn away from the sounds of death and destruction that swallows the space in your ears. But I know, so I will breathe.
You should know though, that while I would not change a thing about what is about to transpire in your life the next eight years or so, I am now aware that you are about to inflict pain on a lot of people. Friends. Family. Acquaintances. And strangers. None of which are deserving. It’s so easy for people to say they “wouldn’t change a thing” or “I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for…”, but, what about the damage, The collateral damage you’re going to cause? I’m fussing. I digress.
You are about to embark on a despicable journey. You will embody the definition of debauchery. So many people will be hurt. Some physically, some emotionally. All unsolicited. You are going to lose so much. So many of the friends that you cherish right now will die.
Craig, your best friend, is going to get into a head on collision and die. He will be intoxicated on the drugs that you sold him at the time of his death. This will torment you for years to come. Timothy will also die. Dwayne will die. Butch will overdose, and die. Kendall is going to commit suicide in the parking lot at his mothers bar. She will be the one to find him. Mike will also kill himself. So many more people you know will die.
Horrible things are going to happen. Two of your friends are going to murder someone during a fight. A fight that by the Grace of God (you’ll understand this later) you weren’t a part of. One will do 7 years in prison, while the other gets life behind bars. And a family will mourn the death of their teenager forever.
Two more of your close friends will be arrested and convicted for the overdose death of Timothy. They will go away for quite a while.
You will witness acts of violence with your eyes that no man should ever see. This will change you forever.
You will pump countless amounts of poison into Baton Rouge. Poison in the form of narcotics. But I bet you already suspect that that’s where your life is headed. Right now, you feel bulletproof. You’ve already been run over by a truck, shot at, been in countless physical altercations, and none of this has slowed you down. You are stacking money… fast, untaxed, and blood-riddled money. You’ll make drug runs to Mexico, bringing back colorfully packaged death to sell to your peers. You’ll take part in the actual manufacturing of narcotics, affecting countless people that you will never even lay eyes on. Surely, there will be some that will suffer from your hand, or worse, and you will never even know the role that you played.
But what you will know, is that the “sex drugs and rocknroll” will all be crashing down on you at some point. There is going to be years and years of a slow, downward spiral. You are going to slowly crawl onto the other side of the fence. Your partying, your fast lifestyle, it’s going to shift. It’s going to bite you.
All throughout this period, great people in your life will attempt to save you, and throw you undeserving lifelines. They will attempt to motivate you with your potential. Take you to church. Do anything in their power to offer you alternatives to your choices. You will refuse. You’re going to hear Gods word, and actually be touched by his tangible Spirit, YET you’re going to ignore it, and go back to the streets. This is where your life changes drastically. This is when you become Aaron, the full blown junkie. You are going to begin a journey to near death in the form of intravenous drug use. And it’s going to be ugly. Robbing people, burglarizing homes, stealing from your family, even stealing from your own nephew. (I’m going to breathe again, instead of throwing expletives at you aggressively right now)
You’re going to be caught doing criminal activity, and be sent to East Baton Rouge Parish Prison. You will then be sent to a place that will save your life. The Home of Grace. How appropriate. That will be the place that you find God, again, and this time you will not refuse. This is when you learn about that aforementioned Grace thing. Mercy poured out. Guilt melted away. It’s gorgeous. And its forever.
Your struggles won’t completely end there, but you will never lose sight of who you are and what God has called you to be. Don’t I wish your struggles end there. But by that time, you will be able to withstand anything.

On a brighter note, you will do some amazing things! You will meet and befriend some amazing people. Life long friends. You will shed some old friendships, while rekindling others. You will grow close to people that you are beginning to vigorously push away. Mom. Dad. & Your brother.
You will see God move in peoples lives in ways that you would laugh at in disbelief if I told you now. I’ll save these gems for you as a surprise.
Your heart, it will break. And it will mend. And it will break again. And it will be ok. You are going to be prepared for loss, and for suffering. And your life will go on. You will lose another friend. A friend that never played with fire. A friend that never tempted fate. A friend deserving of a million lifetimes. A friend named Jordan. You won’t understand why this isn’t such a tragedy until you get to God, and His Word. So don’t worry, Jordans story will touch the masses, and your faith in his salvation will soothe your broken heart.
God is going to work through you to help others. Did you hear me: HELP others! I know, it’s weird. You’ll be addicted to this as well. And that will be ok. It will be a testimony of what God can do to and with people, people from all walks of life. Even people that once hurt people. You know how you think you’re this big bad dope dealer right now? Well, You will actually one day be employed at a chemical dependency treatment center, helping others to get out of their addictions and work towards a new positive way of life. Crazy, right?! A lot of surreal things like that are going to occur in your late 20′s. Bask in them. You’re going to get plugged in at a great church, and actually work for them at some point, helping victims of violence at their inner city ministry! Victims of violence?! I know, I know. Wow. “for such a time as this”…you’ll understand the reference later on.
You will be misunderstood by a lot of the “religious”. Don’t worry about all that. You focus on you, and your walk with God, and let the chips fall where they may. Trust me. This too will be ok. And don’t be freaked out by all this “God-talk”. It won’t be strange to you eventually.
There is so many questions I have for the 40 year old “us”. Who will I marry? How many kids? What city is God going to have me doing His social work? Are my parents still around? Is Nathan Robert a pastor at his own gigantic church yet? And things of the like.
But what I can tell you (and me) is that the troubles of today are sufficient, and the tomorrows will come, and you will deal with the days as they jump on your back. And it will all be ok. Most will glimmer, some will burn. But, all will count. Never forget that.
Oh, and one last thing,
I love you. I do! You don’t love yourself right now. You don’t even believe anyone can truly love you. But they do. You’ll see. I Promise.
You will be Found. To God be the Glory.

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