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I want my life to be given to Him but I keep insisting some things being my way.

“God can do more with your palm open than with your grip closed”.

I know that so many times I want things “my way”. Not even on purpose, but most of the time on purpose. I know that God wants the contrary but I can’t seem to stomach that so I continue to hold onto the things I know He is asking me to release from my grip.

I hate that death grip but I know it’s what makes me feel secure (even if it is false). I like to feel that safety of those wonderful plans, purposes, and people just the way I like them in my world. But that is not how it works- AT ALL.

I began to notice this when all that I thought was right began to be thwart and frustration was more prevalent that peace and joy. But I suppose some people live in this constant state of discontentment and know no better. But for me, I do, I know that life is not supposed to be one frustration after another and even if frustrtations do come, there is peace in them if God is in the midst.

The other week however, He was not in the midst, no peace was, no joy was, nothing. It was all Natalie which is usually a big anxious mess. When it came time to pray in my Connect Group one of the girls mentioned letting go of all the “plans, ideas and problems” that we are holding on to and really giving them to God to have HIS WAY.

I laughed as I thought, “heck that’s my whole life I would have to hand over to Him”. And so I did. And again, today, I am handing my life over to Him. No matter what it means to my plans, heart, ideas, future, momentarily happiness/comfortableness. It’s all His.

Lord help me let You have my ENTIRE life.

“Where is my Hope? My Hope is only found in You O Lord” Psalms 39:7

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